Oct 10, 2010

Things that go bump in the night

For the past few nights, (not really sure how many exactly, but who is counting) I have been waking up between the wee hours of 4:30 and 5 in the am.  It doesn't matter what time I go to sleep either.   One time I went to bed at 10 pm, another I went to bed at 2 am.  I still wake up at the exact same time and oddly enough, it has literally been from a dead sleep and takes me hours to fall back into my previous slumber, thus leaving me sleeping in until 11 every day.  What does this mean? What is waking me up, or should I say whom and why?


According to Sylvia Brown, (who has said the same thing to dozen of believers that have asked her the same question as to who or what is causing them to wake up from their deep sleep and is reoccurring night after night) it is a loved one who has passed on and is watching over us as we sleep.... Seems a little far fetched for some of you? Was for me at first, or maybe it just never crossed my mind because the only thing I was focused on is "how in the hell am I going to fall back asleep now that I'm wide awake?!"  This time was different... I woke up as usual, in pitch darkness, looked over at the clock which read 5:00, looked up at the ceiling, closed my eyes, leaned my head toward my right shoulder, opened my eyes, and just started crying.  Crying, not because the hubs was sleeping in the middle of the bed leaving me only two inches before the edge of it, but because my heart was heavy...  So heavy that it felt like it was in my gut and the only person on my mind... Raiden.  I have been thinking about him a lot lately,(usually because it is that time of year again) but at that moment, I felt him.  It was as if he was standing right there at my bed side... Just.... Watching me... I felt, almost euphoric, hope, happy, my heart slowly becoming less heavy.  I closed my eyes for what seemed like several minutes, but was only for a few seconds, immediately quit crying, opened my eyes again, and just like that, he was gone.  I didn't feel him standing there anymore.  But I wasn't sad, and still wasn't tired.  I just lied there for several minutes staring at the wall and ceiling, wondering what all this meant. 

Was it Raiden? Who else could it have been? I wouldn't have felt him had it been someone else.  What was he trying to tell me?  Maybe he was telling me that everything is going to be okay... He knew I have been thinking about him a lot lately, and thinking about him makes me sad and depressed... Maybe he was letting me know that he is okay... But after 3 years of wondering? Why now? I mean I knew he was okay, but was this his way of a confirmation?  Or was this just solely for the sake of comforting me?  I have never felt his presence so strong until today, and I wonder if it will be the last.  The feeling I felt, can never be scripted from words,  I just felt weightless.  It almost seems as if it wasn't even real at all. Like it was just a dream.  Was I just dreaming with my eyes open?  I guess these are the things we never really know for sure...

Sep 11, 2010

9/11

Sometimes I wish that more people would come at this day a little more humble than others.  I know that there are so many men who come at this day with a heavy heart, who know and have experienced the repercussion of this day first hand, my husband included.  There is still a war going on, and while everyone is going about their day as if it were any other day, there are sacrifices being made.  I use to look at these people who have seem to "forget" in a negative light, but today, I don't blame them.  I probably would be the same way had I not married a Marine who risks so much of his life to defend my freedom and yours or became friends with the one's whose lives have been lost as well as so many women who have been in my shoes.  Some people don't realize how lucky they are to live in the land of the Free because of the Brave.  When we ask you to "Never Forget" we mean it! Be thankful for your freedom and the men who fought for you to keep it!  I am thankful everyday for my husband and that he is alive and well, the scars he holds from this war doesn't even compare to what could have been...

Feb 9, 2010

Destination: Lamai Beach, Koh Samui, Thailand


As you all know by now (and if not then you should) that my nationality is Thai, hence my name.  But were you also aware that I am a beach?!! Not to be mistaken for the word "bitch", though we all know that I am one of those as well... But that's right, I am a beach, and I have to admit that I am down right, slap you in the face, beautiful!!! 

Right off of Thailand there is this little island filled with beautiful white sand beaches, clean, clear warm water, lush tropical gardens and a gentle ocean breeze.  Koh Samui is an island of natural beauty (like myself :)) and charm, it can be kicked back and relaxed or active and fast paced.

Right on the coast of this little island known as Koh Samui is a little town called Lamai, and Lamai is equipped with a beach yall!  Lamai Beach is Koh Samui's second largest beach, and some says that it is having the most beautiful beach in Samui. The sea water caters for excellent swimming and the beach is studded with graceful granite boulders, which are often enjoyed as fishing perches by local fishermen.

Dont believe me that this island paradise exists? Check out this map! >>>
Yep that is right it does exist! See it right there smack dab in the middle of the right side coast!

This place is absolutely breath taking... And I have officially decided that I am putting Lamai Beach on my bucket list! This is something I have to do before I die.  Not only because we share the same name, but also because it is a part of my heritage, who I am and where I came frome. (Well technically I came from Oklahoma, that's where I was born anyways).  So you get the idea... Thailand is my nationality, it's only natural that I want to go back to my roots, and start digging where it all started.  Some day, some how, I'm gonna make it, alright but not right now.  (nickelback reference! LOVE IT).  Some day I'm going to make it to Thailand to see Lamai Beach, probably sometime in my 40's or 50's when I'm well into my "doctorhood", but I'll make it there before I die! 

For you to get a better picture of how beautiful this place really is, here are some pics of Lamai Beach... The pictures DO NOT do it justice! (I know because it's Lamai, and I'm Lamai).




Look how clear that water is!
This just cracked me up!!!!
Here is a video for your viewing pleasure of Hat Lamai (Lamai Beach) *enjoy!


As always! Thanks for tuning in!!!

MaiTai

Jan 8, 2010

From memoirs, to resolutions, to new beginings....

It's a brand new day and a brand new year and needless to say I cannot do much of a year in review. 2009 went by so fast. John was retired from the Marine Corps with an 80% disability, and is eligible for the full 100%, which is currently in process and being reviewed as we speak. A business opportunity just fell into his lap, and is something that the both of us are forever grateful for and although it is something that I would love to talk about it, it is just not the right time. Once the dust clears I will be more than willing and come mid January we should know a little more of what's going on. For the majority of 2009, I buried myself in school work. I know, it is not fun for most, but I enjoyed it and it gets me one step closer to becoming a doctor. I even came across an empty soul this past year, and happily cut the strings and moved on with my life. And while they are still dwelling in the past, they are not that important enough for me to do the same, which is why I cut those strings and attachments in the first place. I am focused on the future and this person is nowhere in sight!




So what does this New Year have in store for me? A new life, full of opportunities. John and I have finally found the road to success. Although the end of that road is quite a ways off and is hard to decipher through the vast distance, I am somewhat relieved that we found it and I have grown more patient since finding it. I know it is going to take some time, and right now I am just along for the ride. We would like to buy a house, but with this mess of not knowing with the business we are not sure which direction to look. But on the contrary, I have a couple of houses picked out back at home in the MO. But if we bought a house in the MO we probably won't be there for long. On the other hand, if we get a house back home, I would be more content while John is traveling with the business and will be close to friends and family, however, I hate "home". It is extremely hard for me to coexist with the whole small town, small mind thing that goes on. There is a whole different world over the hedge Vernon County!!! Granted not everyone has the whole "hillbilly dumbness" going on. Still, it is not my cup of tea. I would like to move back to California. California will always have a place in my heart. It was my first taste of the real world, it was my home for 4 years, it was a fresh slate for me and even though I said I hated it, I grown to love it and what it had to offer. But California is way too far away from the business. The business if based out of Washing DC. So DC is an option for us. And then there is Boston, which is where my cousin lives, who happens to own this business. So that is an option, I would love to see Massachusetts! Just don’t know if I want to live there. I think that maybe subconsciously I am scared shitless of moving to the East Coast. For the simple fact that 2012 is right around the corner. Hey I am not saying I believe, but anything is possible. And another fact is DC is a hot spot for terrorists! I don’t want to get my ass blown off, I know for a fact we are still at war, I mean my husband just came from there! That is scary, when I think of DC flashes of 9/11 storm through my head. None of that shit happened on the West Coast! It's clear on the other sides of the map, nothing but local gang shootings, which by the way have gone down.



We don’t have to make a decision on where we want to live right now. This is good for me, because I just cannot decide. For the first six months, John will be working out of Chicago, so that will give me plenty of time to decide on here or there or elsewhere. So that is pretty much what the year 2010 has in store for me. Not that exciting! Cheers to a new year anyway!



Thanks for tuning in!

MaiTai


Nov 20, 2009

Knowledge is Power, Wisdom is Knowledge- A little advice from MaiTai:


Making a difference is a value one should not deny.  Even making the smallest of a difference in someone else’s life aside from one’s own results in great success.  I think that the vast majority assumes that great success is equivalent to big money, fancy cars, and designer clothes…. Basically having everything you have ever wanted at the snap of a finger because there is no cost on money.  We’ve all heard the saying “ money doesn’t buy happiness.”  Well this is true in a major way.  In order to succeed in happiness one must succeed in the values of life, thus in return, God himself possibly will reward us in money.  Allowing us to be happy as well as wealthy.  Jim Rohn once said, “ Success is not so much what we have as it is what we are.”   Being successful is not about the money we have, it is not about the job we have, or furthering our education, nor is it about being able to juggle both at the same time.  Success is what we are, who we are, and what we stand for as the human being we are destined to be. 


Recently, I came across a troubled soul.  I say that this person is a troubled soul, because their outlook on life is rather ridiculous, and down right ignorant.   Upon getting to know what this person really thinks, I have grown less patient with them, and would rather not waste my time with them.  They are greedy, always wanting, never giving and hasn’t the slightest clue what success really is.  They think that because they have both a job and juggle a couple of college courses, as well has try to keep their so-called family in line, that they are successful, turning their life and anyone else’s that crosses their path into a competition.  For instance, they think that the fact that I do not have a job at this time is ridiculous.  I am currently enrolled in college and I already have a couple of grad schools picked out.  I think it is redundant that I should explain myself for not having a job.  But for humor’s sake, I do not have a job at this time because my main focus is, indeed, my college education.  I have a long way to go before I become a doctor.  I want to become a doctor not for the money, however money will be a great gift, but to make a difference.   It is not that I can’t “juggle” both a job and my schooling, it is the fact that searching for a job for myself takes up a lot of time, because I can’t really get a decent job because of my degree, or lack there of.  So if I consume all of my time in looking for a job, then it is going to affect my college study and work.  Until I get some of college out of the way, I do not “need” a job.  Just because I do not have a job, doesn’t make me less successful, however.  Like Rohn said, success is not what we have but it is what we are. 


That one quote from Rohn, says so much, but this troubled soul is so blind to it.  I am aware of this because upon talking with this person, they just don’t seem to care or even acknowledge others who are less fortunate or are dealing with issues. This troubled soul says a lot of mean and hurtful things about others who have either made a difference or are the ones that are the difference, and expects to be rewarded back.  It is extremely sad that this person is so cold hearted and it is a huge disappointment and let down, especially when this person would rather benefit themselves rather than another.  Who wants to be around a person who is like that, let a lone give them the time of day?




Again, this troubled soul points fingers at me saying that I am not successful, but I am here to say that I am, I am very successful.  I don’t go around flaunting my success because in all reality it is morally wrong.  So for one time only, here’s how I am successful according to the real definition of success:  I am very active in Military support organizations.  Our military sacrifices so much for so little, they deserve respect and pay back from our nation.  Have you ever heard of Operation PAL?  It is an organization that allows complete strangers to send “Prayers and Letters” (PAL) to wounded Marines that have been injured in combat.  I try to do this whenever I can.  I also send care packages and letters to deployed Marines.  I do all of this and it is the least I can do for our Military.  Whenever I see someone of the Military at a store, or on the street, I take time out of my day, to stop and thank them for their sacrifices and their service, because it is my duty as a wife to a Marine and a Veteran.  I also try my best to give guidance and advice to other Military wives, again it is my duty.  I also am active in Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness organizations.  Being a mother of an angel, I know what these mother’s go through, and I wish everyday that I had someone there for me like I am for newly formed friends that I have made through doing these things. 


So why am I not successful?  I mean, I “juggle” all of these morally right activities along with furthering my education so that I can help and make a difference in other’s lives even more so than now.   How is that not success?


In conclusion, my words of advice and the sole reason I wrote this blog is::  Before you point fingers, stop and take a look at what a person has done and what they are doing before you say they are not successful, while doing so, stop, take a step back and look at yourself, and analyze what you have done.  Have you made a difference? Or are you too occupied with money and work? Because maybe pointing fingers at another, just shows that you are self-conscious about yourself, and that is your only defense.  Even, with insecurity of your own self worth, no on likes to eat their own words.  




As always:: Thanks for tuning it!
With love,
-MaiTai

Nov 18, 2009

Here's to new beginnings!

Well, John and I have a new house... Most of you do not know, because, believe it or not, not every single minute of my life, is posted for the whole world to see...  For some reason, certain people still seem to think so. (sorry I am a little bitter).  That is why I chose to leave the location of our new home undisclosed.  But I will post pics of the inside eventually.  3 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, a double fireplace, custom Italian marble, and a little retro- chique twist.  I am pretty excited about our new home, and wasn't fond of the retro thing, but it is growing on me.  John and I also discussed it, and we decided to turn the 3rd bedroom, the smallest one, into my art room.  This is exciting, because I have put my passion for art aside for far too long, and it is about time I start getting into the swing of things again, or in this case, "the brush stroke of things".   So eventually, once we start getting the rest of the house out of boxes and all that fun jazz, then I can sneak away to my own private island and create and discover masterpieces from my inner soul.

Aside from the new house situation, I have a feeling that we wont be there as long as planned.  Which is a good thing, because we knew when we got ourselves into this that it was only going to be temporary, at least until some of my schooling was done.  However opportunity has arose to us, and we may be cutting it short.  So I have to keep telling myself not to get attached to our new little home.  John has received a business opportunity, actually he was offered part ownership of a business, and we are highly considering it.  In order to do this, we will have to move again.  The moving doesn't really bother me, so we are okay with that.  He will also have to have overnight business trips, sometimes for a couple of nights and sometimes for a week or so.  Hey, just because he was offered part ownership, doesn't mean he is not going to have to pull his own weight!  But in all reality, I think I am fine with these business trips.  A couple years ago, I would have thrown a fit, told him not to take the job, and all that upset wife stuff that is for the fear of being alone.   But I have grown up a lot in the past couple of years, and I have grown as a person.  So now I am prepared to sacrifice for our family.  I've done it before, and that was for 9 months! What's a week or so?  I am 100% sure that we will be just fine.  Besides with the way things have been going, I think we will be set financially and as a family.  Since John has received his VA rating things have been so good... We have felt less "stuck".  And that is a wonderful feeling.. Especially for us.   I think that the timing couldn't have been better.  I think that we are ready, and definitely better prepared for whatever the future throws at us.

So heres to new beginnings!!

Thanks for tuning in!
-MaiTai

Oct 5, 2009

The Bitch is Back! And I'm not talking about Kristen Cavillari! (rental supervision is advised)

I know how everyone misses my blogs; I hear it all the time. I miss hearing everyone's feedback too. It is just that I haven't been able to find the time to fulfill my social network's entertainment needs these days. We all know that in 95% of my blogs I'm bitching about ignorance, here's another to add to the list....

As you all know, I am one of the first people to speak my mind about anything and everything. I don't hold back, I'm brutally honest, and blunt. And although, I come across as being a bitch, I get respect for it, because I am one in a few that actually has the balls to stand up for what I think is right. Lately, unfortunately, I've been biting my tongue, pushing things under the rug, or turning a blind eye, and quite frankly I HATE it!!!! I have my reasons for shutting my mouth until I get into the privacy of my husband's or close friend's presence. One reason is the fact that I don't want to hurt someone because they are not use to my hard cold honesty or dry sense of humor, the other is that I feel like I have to protect someone and the results of my actions are considerable. Stupid reasoning, I know, but the bitch does have at heart, sometimes... The fact of the matter is that I'm done with that shit!!!!! I am so sick of being at someone else's disposal, I'm sick of being treated like shit because I hold my words back. I'm sick of certain people thinking they can treat me a certain way, or saying things to me because they THINK they can get away with it. In all reality it flat out pisses me off, and that anger has built up and guess what, I'M DONE! Starting today, I'm going to start being the bitch I'm known for. Starting today I am not going to bite my tongue! Starting today, you will probably regret ever saying the wrong thing to me. The Bitch is back and boy do some of you have a rude awakening!!!! On the bright side, I know a lot of you have been waiting for this moment; it's been far too long. What has it been? Almost 5 months without any Lamai Weekly Blogs or anything that makes you FB and MySpace users look forward to logging on... This one is for you, my devoted fans I love so much! ;)

Okay, back to serious and the point of this note. From today on, you say one little thing; ONE itty bity thing that pisses me off, I am blowing up like a fucking bomb! And trust me no one wants to see me at extreme pissed off-ness. I am not going to let you put your nose in my business anymore. What my husband and I do in our lives is none of your business except ours. You're not going to tell me what to do, or how to run my life. I do what I do! I am going to college for a fucking reason, not just for the fucking hell of it. And I will be more successful than you will ever fucking be! So get the fuck off my back. Isn't it going to suck when I am successful and you are the one needing the favor and I flat out tell you to go fuck yourself? That karma is a bitch isn't it? Because trust me, I will remember who did me dirty and who was more supportive.

Speaking of supportive. I am so sick of people belittling the Military, especially when it has to do with my husband. Let's get one thing straight. I am not looking for handouts, and neither is my husband! What I am looking for is respect. The lack there of is rather ridiculous! I am so sick of hearing that the Military gets paid way too much, along with several other comments that just really get under my skin. Let me clear some things up. The Military gets paid jack shit for what they do, plain and simple.

I'll lay down John's situation for you, since obviously it hasn't been made clear from observing your ignorant comments and how you act. Read this carefully= John was BLOWN UP when he was deployed, not once, not twice, but 3 different times by IED's (dummy translation= Improvised Explosive Devices, or breaking down dummy translation- Things that blow up!) In result, his back is broken in two different places, TWO. One wrong move and he can become paralyzed for the rest of his life. That's why we've been contemplating on surgery with his doctors. One wrong move with surgery and he can become paralyzed for the rest of his life as well. Obviously you didn't know that he has TBI too, (dummy translation- BRAIN INJURY) and PTSD (Dummy translation- Post TRAUMATIC Stress Disorder) Since you're obviously so ignorant that you can't figure out what that means, it means that he has nightmares, anger rages (yeah you didn't know that did you) anxiety, among many other problems that is caused from this.

Now since you're so nosey, let me break this down for you. We will get income from the VA because the Marine Corps was nice enough to medically retire him. RETIRE, meaning he gets the benefits as if he was in for 20 years. So NO, he did not get "medically discharged". Since he was RETIRED and not medically discharged, the Marine Corps also gives us a monthly income. The reasoning is because his injuries happened during combat, and it is just morally wrong not to. So NO we are not mooching from the government!!!!! And the Military/Veterans are not the reason our government is poor! Welfare fags are the reason for this! These Veterans deserve actually more than what they get! Especially men (I say men because women aren't allowed to fight in combat) who are in John's situation. For instance his really good friend, Mike, who was in his unit, has shrapnel in his chest for the rest of his life, because if they remove it, it will stab his heart and he will die! They deserve that VA money! And if you think otherwise, then read these words of mine carefully--

*What the fuck have you done sitting on your comfy couch getting fat? Because until the day that you go over there, and fight for the right for your fat ass to sit on the couch some more, SHOOT A FUCKING KID SQUARE BETWEEN THE EYES BECAUSE HE WAS SHOOTING AT YOU, KILL HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE TO SAVE YOURSELF, AND GET BLOWN UP, until you do all of this while looking at the possibility that you might not make it back home, then you have no room to fucking talk. In fact you shouldn't talk at all! Because people like me, who put up with your bullshit as well, will call your bluff on your so-called opinion and tell you to go jump off a cliff! * With that said, fuck you, and when you can actually have an cerebral conversation about the Military, my life, and my husband, then you can come talk to me! (dummy translation- cerebral means intellectual, intellectual means smart).


Thanks for tuning in!
-To my devoted blog stalkers/fans! ~ Oh how I’ve missed you so! 



Until next time!
-MaiTai
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