Sleep Deprived

Well ladies and gents I believe I have lived on at least 5 hours of sleep.... ALL WEEK! Yep thats right... I have baggy eyes and the whole works!!! I probably stink too.. no I shouldnt I took a shower... But thats beside the point... I miss John like hell... and theres nothing I can do about it.. I cant even call him just to call him.. I cant call at all... Theres no where to call... So all I do is sit at home and wait for him to call me.... I dont want to go to sleep because I dont want to miss his call... And when I finally say okay I'll go to sleep, I will wake up to receive his call.. I cant sleep because I'm so depressed!!! Its one thing to have a husband thats not home all the time because of his job...But its totally differnt when he's off in another country fighting in a damn war!!! He finally got to call today... It didnt really go so well... He wasnt very happy... Which is very understandable, I mean my poor baby, he doesnt get any sleep and when he does its just for a couple of hours and of course he's gotta be on alert at all times... Its a very stressful job... I totally get why he's in a bad mood.. It just hurts me to see him like that... I think he's ready to come home.. He says he hates it there.. Which who wouldnt! I know damn well I'm ready for him to come home.... But of course its only been a week.. One week and it feels like a damn century has past.... On a brighter note.. He was happy for a little bit... When he told me he bought me a present... And of course spoiled me got it out of him like I always do!!   Its a silver watch!!! With real diamonds in it!! Can you say BLING BLING!!!  Oh how I love my hubby wubby bear!! I definetly wasnt expecting that from him... I mean that was the sweetest thing ever!! He really didnt have to.. But he wanted to.. and that makes me so happy... It makes me forget about my worries and helps just focus on how loving and caring my husband is and how much I love him... But ya know even with a wonderful present like that from my dearest husband.... At the end of the day.... I still go to bed alone..... And thats what hurts so bad... And thats why I cant sleep... Its hard to keep busy when you lying in bed by yourself thinking and worrying about what your husband is doing and wondering if he is okay or not... and dreading the worse....  Johns my one and only, and it is so hard being without him... FUCKING WAR I HATE IT!!!! I'm going to have a mental break down seriously!!! I need to fucking sleep!!