It really bothers me when people act like this is my first pregnancy or that I've never been pregnant before.... You know, the 'know it alls'. The people that think they need to tell me how it is, what to do, and what to expect during the pregnancy process and after. The people that make catty comments that make me feel like I'm ignorant to the pregnancy life or that I'm a non existent mother. News flash: This isn't my first run through the park, and I am a proud mother to an Angel, and now twins. That's 3 children my friends. Though, some people I give credit to, they do not realize that they say such hurtful things. I know they are just trying to help. But others, it's down right obvious that they meant what they said. Here's my favorite(sarcasm) example: "Motherhood is the best thing in the world! Not that you're not a mother, but you know what I mean.... It's different." Yes, people actually have said this to me... I can count a handful of people right now off of the top of my head that has said these exact words to me since finding out I was pregnant. Really? Do people really not think before they speak? Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it. Ironically that is the comment I hear the most amongst other comments that have to do with pregnancy like: "Welcome to pregnancy." "Well, you should do this." "Expect this." "You better get ready for labor." And it's not these comments alone, it's the way people say them to me like I just have no idea what I got myself into. And when I respond with "Oh, I know", they keep on like no, I don't know. And then when I say something along the lines of "Well, when I was pregnant with Raiden..." They don't want to hear it. It has pushed me to the point where I really don't want to hear what these people have to say. I am open for advice, especially from mother's of multiples. But I am not open to hear what I should or shouldn't do during this pregnancy, what to expect, and what I should or shouldn't do when they arrive such as feeding, diapering ect. I have a doctor for the duration of the pregnancy, that I'm pretty sure knows what he's doing... I have all my trust in him, beings that this is a "high risk" pregnancy. So I think I'll be fine without the catty, know it all comments. And as for after the babies arrive... I'm going to do things my way. I do not care if you think that I am choosing the "hard way" to do things, especially with twins... It is what I want to do, it is what I've been planning on doing, and it is what I WILL do. I'm sorry, you disagree. And as for the whole 'I'm not a real mother' comments. I grew a baby boy in my belly for 8 months 4 years ago, I gave birth to him, I held him and loved him, and then I had to say goodbye. So yes, I am a real mother. No, I don't get to see him grow and no the twins will never meet their big brother, but all the same, I'm a mother just as you. And for the record, I think that being an Angel Mommy is a way better title than being JUST a mom. Lucky for me I get the best of both worlds and get to be both.
Words of advice: before anyone tries to give someone else advice, THINK before you speak and make sure what you are about to say isn't going to hurt that person and try not to be a know it all. I know it's hard for some of you, but try it, you might actually not get a catty response back! Nice, thoughtful and supportive advice goes a lot further than mean hurtful comments.
And for the record again, this was not a rant blog, it was more of getting my feelings out there so my readers will remember this the next time they are talking to someone who is in similar shoes as I am. :)
<3 Mai
